"death is only ONE heartbeat away from life..."

i went to a wake for a former coworker the other day. it was pretty surreal. i hadn't talked to him in a few months, and hadn't seen him in a year or so. T was 6'8" and weighed about 450lbs. He passed after a normal doctor visit due to a blood clot in the brain. it's crazy to think that someone who i saw almost every day for two years straight, talked and joked with about anything and everything was simply gone. no warning, no goodbyes. i guess i'm at that age where my attendance for friends' functions aren't limited to just their birthdays anymore...but includes weddings, childbirths, and funerals.

the wake was extremely different from any i'd been to before. it was at a church on the south side off 71st and MLK, and was predominately african-american...actually all african-american except for me. i'll just say this about african-americans...they do church a lot different than how my church does church. it was almost like one of those stereotypical scenes you might see in a movie, with the congregation shouting back their amens and hallelujahs to the singers or preacher, and loud mmmmhmmm'ing with everything they agreed with. don't get me wrong, in no way am i poking fun...in fact i was totally humbled by it.. i hadn't really seen this since i went to compton a few years back. there's no self-consciousness when doing all this. it's just part of who they are, and how they worship and respond to the Word. sometimes i wish koreans were like that...no reservations when it comes to Him. the whole service seemed like a celebration of life instead a mourning of death. sure there were tears, but there was plenty of reminiscing and laughter. the reverend even had an altar call towards the end of the service. i thought this was kind of crazy and i still don't know if i'm comfortable with it...but if big t's death could bring a few people to Jesus, what better way to celebrate and honor his life?

the reverend started his message off with the quote, "death is only one heartbeat away from life." his main point was something we've all heard a million times...cherish your life and what you have and the fact that you're still here. He spoke of picking cotton on his grandfather's farm, and his great-grandfather being a slave. He spoke of ladies clutching their purses close to their bodies as they walked by him...even though he had his pastoral robes on. drugs don't put themselves into people's bodies. guns don't shoot people without someone pulling the trigger. babies don't magically pop out of the air. it's not our circumstances that make us who we are...but we are who we are by surviving through those circumstances, and truly learning and moving on from our struggles. do i personally know much about any of the examples the reverend was talking about? not really...but that doesn't mean i haven't felt the same type of insecurities and feelings the reverend was speaking about...

when it comes down to it...we're not christian babies anymore. most of us have grown up in the church. the knowledge is there, but it's a matter of taking action. knowing and doing are not the same thing. in James it says, "faith without works is dead." we come to church thinking it's a mcdonalds. we go to God and place an order. we ask Him for things to give us, to make things happen for us. we expect pastors or small group leaders to wow us with sermons or bible studies. we have all these high expectations for church and for God, but we fail to have higher expectations for ourselves. it's time to grow up. we should be able to make it to church on time. we should be able to serve in some capacity at church. we should be able to contribute to small group and listen to find truth or an application in a sermon. instead we're too busy looking outward instead of looking inward. that's why empower 2010 is a good focus. take ownership of your own church. take ownership of your own life. don't put off serving God, or living your life because you have no idea when that last heartbeat between life and death is going to come. truth.
r.i.p big t.